On Rejection

Posted: August 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

I’ve been waiting with bated breath (not really) for a rejection from a publisher on a more serious work I’ve done, and that rejection just came today.  It’s not a surprise that it was a rejection, because I had to poke and prod them for a response, but though I knew it was coming,  it hurts all the same.  This was a rejection that was for something I spent seven years of my life on.  I know in retrospect that the work isn’t terribly good now, but it’s painful to know that I spent seven years on something that ultimately sucks and is probably non-publishable.

And now that I know that particular work is non-publishable, I worry about every other thing I’ve ever done – every painting, every story, every drawing.  What is the worth of those things?  Are they worthy of showing to the public?  Even my ‘literary cheetos’ as I call them, my silly smutty short stories and novellas.  Are they worth reading?  Anything at all?

It turns into a negative spiral and I’m afraid to say that this is why I haven’t put anything out in the past few months.  I’m afraid of another scathing review, another person telling me I’m not worthy of even being on their Kindle or Nook.  I just want to put something out there that’s worth something, which I suppose is a ridiculous sentiment for a smut peddler to have, but the feeling’s there all the same.

I suppose this has delved too far into the melodramatic now, however.  I do have a new novel waiting in the wings, and I will publish the thing by the end of the month.  I like the story – it’s an action romance with werewolves and a love interest unlike any I’ve written before.  I think it’s good.  I just hope other people agree with me.

Whoops, I really let this blog slide, didn’t I?  Well, I’m back for the moment!

In the past few months, I regret to say my writing has slowed quite a bit, and it doesn’t help that I’ve been shifting my focus to other genres, but I do have a novel coming up soon!  It will be my first romancey-type romance (not erotic, though there are quite a few steamy sex scenes in it!)  I also have a novella that I’m editing right now, but I feel that particular piece still needs quite a bit of work, unfortunately.

That aside, I’m also being featured in an interview coming up this June 13th, in honor of Father’s Day!  On that day, the first volume of ‘Her Father, My Master’ will also be going free, and will remain free through to the holiday.  Check out the promotion at A. C. James’ blog!

Still going, 45k into a new title

Posted: February 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

It seems I’ve abandoned short fiction for the time being.  I haven’t done a story less than 20k words in months.  I still have a short piece that needs to be edited, but right now I’m working on what’s probably going to be a full novel length piece about werewolves, kidnapping, and betrayal.  I just hope it’s good – it’s much more action oriented than previous things I’ve done.

“When I was born, I got my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, both arms, and one of my ankles. Mom said that the doctor, at one point, stopped delivering me and just started laughing. I mean, if I ever let being bad at something stop me, I wouldn’t even be here. That thing some men call failure, I call… living. Breakfast. And I’m not leaving until I’ve cleaned out the buffet.” (Pierce Hawthorne, Community)
 
This little quote is a good reminder to myself that if I don’t fail, I’m doing something wrong.  Failure is absolutely a part of growth and everyone learns more from their failures than their successes.  For a long time I was afraid of failing, but for the most part I’ve learned to shut that part of myself up and just go for it.  My last story (the BBW Billionaire one) was a failure in some ways, but I learned a lot from it, and I’m going to apply it to my next one.  I’m definitely writing another BBW story in the near future!

The Fountain is Flowing Again!

Posted: February 11, 2013 in Uncategorized

I’m working on a werewolf story that I’m really excited about because I’m haven’t written one of those in so long.  And the love interest is dark!  And sullen!  And brooding!  I have so much trouble writing those kinds of people because I’m just not like that, but I think this is working.  He’s only smiled once so far and I’m 21,000 words in!

I’ve also learned my lesson to never ever publish half a story without explicitly saying to be continued.  My BBW Billionaire story is still getting roundly kicked in the ass with reviews despite selling fairly well.  I can only hope the dissatisfied readers pick up the second half for a true resolution, but no guarantees, alas.

Also, good news for the Angel Among Wolves fans – I’ve finally gotten inspiration for a third in the series!  You should expect it to come out within the next few months, though now that I’ve said that I’m sure I’m going to experience some awful writer’s block.  Of course.

It seems like after a bit of a dry period (only a thousand words a day, boo) things are really picking up again.  I’m excited about writing, I’ve got a printer so I can print things out and do really thorough spelling and grammar checks, and I’ve even for a very helpful writer’s group in the area.  Everything is turning up Milhouse!

ETA: Hilariously enough, it occurred to me that I totally should add any and all alcohol expenses to my work related expenses for my tax info.  Not that I did!  But alcohol helps me write sometimes.

All right, it’s been a bit busy for me in the past couple of weeks.  I ended up going to a fantasy / sci-fi convention, and while I was there I got a few nibbles from publishers on getting my comic published. (Yes, I’m an artist as well.  Yes, I have written a comic.  So sue me.)  They were interested!  This is cool.  It feels dumb, but it’s nice to be validated as both a writer and an artist, and getting a comic actually factually published does both of those things nicely.

In other news, I’m working on the sequel to my BBW Billionaire story which is really the second half of the first story and not a sequel.  I’ve discovered a fatal flaw in publishing a story in halves without revealing that there’s a second half, is that people are blasting it to pieces because the heroine seems weak and the love interest is a jerk.  Shit, it didn’t even occur to me that this would be the reaction, as neither of those characters have completed their growth arcs yet.  All I can do is wave my little hands in a frantic manner and scream at everyone to read the sequel.  That isn’t out yet.  Whoops.

Anyways, I got a printer.  A cheapo laser printer, but it allows me to more thoroughly edit my works.  I’m hoping the typos and weird sentences will diminish if not completely disappear in my new works.  We shall see!

I’m wandering through this thread on reddit describing ADHD, and I just don’t connect with a lot of the other people on there about what they are saying on the disorder.  But I definitely have it; I was diagnosed with it when I was in the 3rd grade, I believe.  I still remember the short time that I was put on Ritalin.  Suddenly I could focus on what the teacher was saying and not draw dragons all over my homework assignments.  I was getting work done.  I was well behaved.  This was also the time we went to Disney World as a family and my mother still says I was the most well-behaved child out of all of us by far.

But I was a zombie.  I wasn’t just well-behaved, I was too well-behaved.  I no longer drew.  I wasn’t creative.  And my mom hated seeing that side of me be lost, so she took me off the medication.

Perhaps this is why I don’t connect with the other people in that Reddit thread.  While they used the medication to cope, I learned my own coping mechanisms.  I learned that I pretty have to multitask and work on more than one project at a time (for instance, at this very moment I’m writing this post, working on another short story, editing a novella, and researching covers.)  And sometimes it’s an uphill battle.  Sometimes starting my writing for the day feels like pushing a 4 ton square boulder up a vertical cliff.  But then I get started and the boulder turns into a beach ball and the cliff turns into a gently sloping hill.  Or sometimes it doesn’t.

Even in a routine for me, things never stay the same.

Not Quite a Writer’s Block

Posted: January 12, 2013 in Uncategorized

I’m writing here right now because apparently I can’t stand the thought of working on my latest story (The Billionaire’s BBW Lover.)  I mean, I know exactly where the darn story is going, and I’m about to write a rather exciting scene for it, but I just don’t have the mojo to actually get it out!  Hmm, maybe it’s the fact that it’s 55 degrees in my home at the moment.

Tea might help.