It’s Okay to Enjoy Cheetos

Posted: December 12, 2012 in Uncategorized

I make no bones about it: what I write are literary cheetos.  They’re tasty and fun, but not particularly filling or fulfilling.  But that’s okay!  You can’t read Tolstoy all the time or you’d go insane.  Or else be a very, very boring person.

That said, I’m actually bit proud of what I have coming out within the next few weeks.  It’s a novel about a girl who comes to terms with who she is and where she came from through sex.  That’s right, sex.  But I want to say that I’ve actually learned a few things while writing this story (a first for me, with erotica) and I hope whoever reads it learns a few things as well.

But who am I kidding, knowing my luck it either won’t be read or will be as badly reviewed as my Her Father, My Master series.  Which by the way, most of the reviews make valid points.  But not this one:

Kristal had a slave/master relationship with Mr. Hendricks (her friend Maddie’s father). Although he claimed to be teaching her control, it appeared he was simply denying her any emotional or sexual release. She’s quoted throughout the book as saying, “he left her feeling used and abused.” He would roughly have sex with her and leave her to find her own gratification.  It was actually disturbing to read at times.

Do you not know what BDSM is, dear reader?  It’s all about control and deprivation, and denying orgasms is a classic way to maintain control and deprive someone of something.  I suggest you go back to that vanilla shit that is 50 Shades of Brown or whatever that series is called, with the fuzzy handcuffs.

Now, I may not be an expert on BDSM, but I daresay I know more than this girl.

Ahem.  Rant over.  Have an excerpt.

Kat did know what Black was doing. Flashes of memory danced through her mind. Memories that she tried to push down and ignore.

She was twelve again, in her room, lying on her bed just as Black was now. She had just discovered something amazing, and was taking every chance to do it. She didn’t know it back then, but now, she had a word for it. Masturbation.

And Kat would have kept doing it too, if her mother hadn’t discovered her that one fateful night.

“What are you doing?” her mother snapped, sounding not unlike Kat now. She had barged into Kat’s room without warning to call her for dinner. Kat had been curled under the covers, her legs spread, her hand exploring forbidden places.

“N-nothing,” Kat stammered. She didn’t know what she was doing was wrong, but she suspected it might be, from the way her mother spoke.

It turned out what Kat was doing wasn’t nothing though, and was in fact very wrong. Her mother spanked her, all the while calling it a sin. She’d never done it since. It made sense that something so pleasurable was sinful. Everything hedonistic was sinful.

Kat shook her head slightly, bringing herself back to the present. “Stop it,” she said.

“Stop what? Ohhh…” Black grinned and then moaned, throwing her head back on the pillow.

“That’s disgusting!”

“It’s not disgusting. It feels great and you know it. You remember.” Black pursed her lips. Somehow, they seemed fuller and redder than Kat’s though Kat knew she was a mirror copy of herself, spawned from that silvered glass.

“It’s a sin,” Kat said, lobbing Black another argument.

“Oh, everything in the Bible is a sin. You can’t even eat shrimp, according to God. What kind of God would do that to a person?”

Kat grimaced. She ate shrimp, and she knew the passage Black spoke of. “That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I follow the spirit of the Bible.”

Black didn’t seem interested in paying attention to Kat’s protestations any longer. She arched her head back, her hand furiously moving in her jeans now. As her legs shook, Kat realized she was in the throes of an orgasm. She shuddered as she watched her doppelganger, a small pang of envy flowing through her. She remembered that feeling. She longed for it.

But she beat back that carnal side of herself. “That’s wrong,” she stated simply, sitting down once more to return to her studies.

“Then why does it feel so good?” Black reiterated now that she was capable of speech once more.

“To tempt you. To the devil.” Kat didn’t even know why she was still speaking. She felt like she was arguing with herself.

“Oh, that is nonsense,” Black said, snickering lightly. Kat’s blood boiled. “God made the devil, right? You don’t think God controls the devil?”

“The devil is a fallen angel,” Kat said tersely.

“So what? God is all-powerful, right? So why doesn’t he just snap his fingers and make the devil disappear? Why is there a Hell?

Kat cringed. She didn’t have the answers to those questions. She’d asked herself the same ones for years. She was a scientist after all, and it was her duty to question things. But it was strange – her faith was locked up in an untouched portion of her brain. There was no questioning God, or the Bible. He had His ways.

“There just is, okay?” Kat snapped. There would be no concentrating on the journal tonight. Not if Black wanted to have this damned existential argument.

“Then why is sex bad, when it feels so good?” Black persisted. “Why is masturbation bad? It doesn’t hurt anyone.”

“Because it’s hedonistic!”

“Why? Why did God decide that?”

Kat wanted to scream. Of course Black had to behave like a petulant little five year old, only asking ‘why’ over and over again. “Because He did,” she finally said after taking a few moments to calm herself. “We can’t possibly speculate on why He does the things he does. It would be like an ant trying to speculate about what a human does.”

“But does the human care what the ant does in its life?” Black pointed out.

That stopped Kat cold. It was a perspective she’d never thought about before. Of course she didn’t care about what ants did. As a whole, a colony was fascinating. But an individual ant was boring to her, by and large.

“What are you getting at?” she asked, suspicious.

“I’m just saying that perhaps God has bigger things to worry about than whether you masturbate every once in a while.” Black shrugged, still lying on the bed, and then rolled over. “Nice quilt, by the way.”

“Thanks. My mother sewed it.” Kat was reeling from the epiphany she’d just suffered. What if God really didn’t care about whether she masturbated or not? It did seem a bit petty of Him to keep such a tight hold on all His subjects.

“So what if He doesn’t care?” Kat asked now, feeling a little off-kilter.

“Then you just wasted years of your life by not masturbating. Come to bed,” Black gestured as she spoke, hooking her finger towards Kat.

It was tempting. So tempting. “With you?” Kat asked. There was enough room…

“Of course. I can show you things.” Black smiled that sly smile of hers again.

In the end, Kat succumbed to that urge. She remembered how it felt, so many years ago, and she wanted to feel it again. Besides, Black said it wasn’t so bad. Perhaps it wasn’t.

Black smiled as she slid under the covers, wrapping her body around Kat’s. Kat froze. This was weird. Too weird.

“We can’t-”

“Shhh,” Black soothed her as her hand snaked lower, brushing against her small breasts, then her belly. “I’m just a facet of you. This still counts as masturbation.”

Kat wasn’t so certain that it did. But she didn’t resist when Black dipped her hand underneath her loose fitting jeans. If anything, she pressed her body closer to her doppelganger. She wanted this. They both wanted it.

She froze, for just a moment. This seemed more than a little homosexual to her, and if not that, it seemed at the least narcissistic. Here she was, having sex with herself…

That line of thought was brought to a juddering halt when Black’s fingers brushed against her outer labia. It felt so good, just as she remembered it. A little moan managed to escape her lips, despite her steeling against it. There was still a part of her that resisted.

“That’s good, isn’t it,” Black murmured into her ear, and that wasn’t a question. It was a bald statement, because Black knew exactly how Kat was feeling. She knew exactly how Kat liked it.

Her questing finger dipped lower, burying itself between Kat’s slick folds now, and drawing its way back up to her clit. Kat shuddered at the sudden feeling.

“Very good,” Black purred. “I’ll bet you’ve never felt this before.” As she spoke, another finger joined the first, and she pressed her way inside Kat’s tight hole now. As her fingers hooked, a sudden, powerful sensation flowed through Kat’s body. That felt good. It felt more than good, it was divine.

Black grinned and nuzzled Kat’s neck wordlessly now as she pleasured her without guilt or remorse. And Kat just shuddered and melted against the girl, against herself. How could she have forgotten how amazing this felt? How could she have put it aside so easily?

As Black hooked her fingers, her thumb now pressing down on that aching clit, her other hand began to roam up and down Kat’s body, brushing against her shoulder, her side, her small breasts and sensitive nipples. The stimulation felt good, it felt so good that Kat could begin to feel waves of pleasure mounting and rolling through her body. With every motion that Black made, every vibration, every pressing, those waves grew larger, and larger, until Kat couldn’t bear to contain them any longer.

Her orgasm rushed through her body. It wasn’t as powerful as she remembered – more like a sigh of relief than a scream – but it felt every bit as good as she remembered. Euphoria flooded her veins and spilled into her brain, sending her on a high that she hadn’t been on in years.

“There,” Black whispered into her ear after her climax subsided. “And God isn’t coming down to smite you, is He.”

  1. Ah! My cheeto fix for the day 🙂

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