On Rejection

Posted: August 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

I’ve been waiting with bated breath (not really) for a rejection from a publisher on a more serious work I’ve done, and that rejection just came today.  It’s not a surprise that it was a rejection, because I had to poke and prod them for a response, but though I knew it was coming,  it hurts all the same.  This was a rejection that was for something I spent seven years of my life on.  I know in retrospect that the work isn’t terribly good now, but it’s painful to know that I spent seven years on something that ultimately sucks and is probably non-publishable.

And now that I know that particular work is non-publishable, I worry about every other thing I’ve ever done – every painting, every story, every drawing.  What is the worth of those things?  Are they worthy of showing to the public?  Even my ‘literary cheetos’ as I call them, my silly smutty short stories and novellas.  Are they worth reading?  Anything at all?

It turns into a negative spiral and I’m afraid to say that this is why I haven’t put anything out in the past few months.  I’m afraid of another scathing review, another person telling me I’m not worthy of even being on their Kindle or Nook.  I just want to put something out there that’s worth something, which I suppose is a ridiculous sentiment for a smut peddler to have, but the feeling’s there all the same.

I suppose this has delved too far into the melodramatic now, however.  I do have a new novel waiting in the wings, and I will publish the thing by the end of the month.  I like the story – it’s an action romance with werewolves and a love interest unlike any I’ve written before.  I think it’s good.  I just hope other people agree with me.

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